The Four Agreements in the Workplace – Class 3 – more wisdom from don Miguel Ruiz

It’s about Effective Communication!

The third of the Four Agreements is “Don’t Make Assumptions.” In the book by don Miguel Ruiz, the author tells us “The problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are the truth.” It is also a big, error-prone shortcut to communication. And here is where this agreements meets the workplace. If our habit of making assumptions is getting in the way of effective two-way communication, we are wasting a lot of energy in our places of work. Later in this page, I’ll share with you the “CURE*” to no longer making assumptions. Using this cure will make your time and energy much more effective in all areas of your business.

In our business day, when we speak, we assume that the other people know what we are talking about. We assume that they have the same background and knowledge that we do. The reality is that we are coming from two different worlds (if there are only two in this conversation) – the more people- the more worlds are coming together. What do I mean by “worlds?” We each create our own versions of life and reality. Based on all of our knowledge, and based on what has been recently happening in our lives. It’s as if we have been traveling to some strange and exotic locale on our own, and then we return to interact with others who have been off on their own journeys. We assume that people are on the same page with us, but that is rarely the case.

As we begin a new conversation, whether it’s a sales call, or a vendor communication or a meeting, we’ve been thinking about this and preparing for it – and they have not. The other has been involved with many other things, none of them having to do with us. There is a little bit of “taking things personally” here.

We launch in to whatever is on our agenda and it might take quite a few minutes, if ever, for the other person to be on the same track as us. The result is that we spend a lot of energy sending out communication that is not being received. Then we might either: have to repeat ourselves, wonder why we’re not getting our message across, or get upset that the other person is not paying attention. In all three cases, we were assuming that the other was open, willing and ready to be attentive simply because we were!

A more energy efficient approach is to check in, *ask questions, see how the other person is and see where they are at in this moment. This might take a little more time, and we may feel that is a little off-task. But if we can tee up a conversation or meeting this way, we spend more time on-purpose, there is more real relating going on, and our communications are much more effective.

*The cure to making assumptions is to ask questions. Be curious! The time will come in any conversation to address your agenda items. But if you adopt a stance of curiosity, and really demonstrate that through questions and listening, you’ll be amazed at what might happen. You’ll get your business done, but you’ll also get to know another human being a little better.

Try adopting Curiosity for your next call or meeting and let me know what shifts for you. Please use the comments to share this with other readers.

For Class 1 of this series- The Four Agreements in the Workplace

For Class 2 of this series- click here – for The Four Agreements in the Workplace – Don’t Take Anything Personally

For Class 2 1/2 of this series click here -for  The Four Agreements – Systems Thinking and Systems Point-of-View

Thanks, Kevin